Complications in a Relation - A Man's Point of View

All the while, up till now, I thought it was easy to stick to a single choice. I mean, for argument sake, I know I will definitely choose to visit Aruba over Singapore, to drive a Lamborghini Gallardo over a Toyota Celica, to watch the shows in Discovery Channel over those in Cartoon Network, or maybe to have steamed fish over fried chicken and it is unlikely that I will be in a dilemma deciding between two or three options. However, due to recent events and some circumstances, I found myself more disoriented than I could ever imagine. Personally, I felt that it is a plus if a person is outgoing and in a way flirtatious, as long as he/she knows his/her limits. In fact, it is scientifically proven (although most of the time only theoretically) that flirting to an extend could actually help strengthen relationships. But it can be quite dangerous, for sure, when it comes to coquetting with the opposite sex, because when you are sending the ‘"you-are-cool-can-we-be-friends" signal, the other party might interpret it as "I-am-ready-to-start-a-family-with-you" instead and the next thing you know, your family is on the way! Revealing how I feel as I write would mean risking my current relationship but trust me, it is really difficult to be this loyal sometimes. I now understand why friends of the older generations kept advising me to have ‘fun’ while I still can. They said having ‘fun’ when you are married is very wrong, so do whatever you want, go for whoever you feel for, try everything that you would like to try before you take the oath and only marry when you are really really really… really really… really (sorry, another 14 times really) ready. Ideally, a couple should be faithful to each other, but the only place where you can still find ideal now seems to be in the book. Nevertheless, that did not stop me from thinking that I am one of the rare ones since I have decided to stay with the five-years-and-counting relationship that I am in currently no matter how difficult it may be. Dumb, some may say, yet the fact is that I am quite proud of it when my friends say that I am a very loyal person since seldom can you find such individuals, be it male or female, nowadays. Lest risk causing any misunderstandings, I always try to control myself when it comes to mixing around with new friends, especially female ones of course. I thought it would be easy as prevention is better than cure and I have found the way to prevent any ‘misconduct’ from happening, so to speak, but how long could I do that for? Could I be sincere with my feelings and yet be loyal at the same time till the day when I can only smile at her when she scold me because she forgot what she scolded me for, or because I cannot hear what she was nagging about and thought she was praising me instead?

For as long as I could remember, I never in my sane mind thought I would be the bad half in a relationship. If you have not guessed what I am trying to tell you, let me make it clearer - like most guys, now girls too, I strayed. It is scary cause I don’t know what she did but whatever she did, it sure made my heart skip a beat, and as a result, I don’t even know what I really want now - so confuse and that is why I confess. On the other hand, the devil in me says I should do this more often because it is fun! Besides, I am not married yet. Plus, I am a human and human makes mistakes and there you go, a thousand and one excuses just because I want to prove I am not too bad. Obviously, I am looking for trouble as this is a publicly accessible blog if I am not confessing, but the thing is, my girlfriend never reads what I write. Now maybe this is another reason for my wrongdoing - the thousand and second excuse. She just did not care enough. Love should not be demanding, huh? I think so too when I first fell in, but now, I dare not even say Casanova’s bad. Well, more like I am not qualified to say so anymore, and please forgive me if I have hurt anyone unintentionally with the words I used above.

Before I end this, here are two websites I would like to share: Why men cheat? and How does flirting help? Thank you so much for your time and attention, any feedback will be much appreciated. Take care and enjoy the rest of your week.

About the author...

The author? Or rather the blogger??! First of all, he is a very humble person!! He does not boast around about his wealth although he is very rich. He prefers to keep a low profile but, no matter how much he tries not to be known, he is still very popular everywhere he goes... Those who know who he is think he is a very intelligent man and, being humble as he is, however hard he strives to convince his fans that he is just as ordinary as they are, they still think he has the most powerful mind on the planet!! Well, considering the fact that he is a genius, you can say that no matter how much you disguise a dog as a cat, it still barks... :) Besides, despite struggling to conceal his handsome face with a pair of spectacles, people seem to be attracted to him like the south pole towards the north of a magnet bar!!! Of course, I know, we cannot blame them for everyone loves rich cool intellectual good-looking hunks, I mean, rich cool intellectual good-looking yet humble hunks...

Okay, that's all for his humbleness, let's continue with his next favorable characteristic, not to say that he has any disapproving ones... Well, by now I am sure you would realize why exactly have I not written this in my profile... Yes!! Because the 1200-character limit blogger has on the 'About Me' column will never be enough to describe such an extraordinarily great human being - perfect on the outside, nothing less than that on the inside... Alright, you can say it is partly due to the fact that I am kind of long-winded, meaning there will be no one-liner like "noc is a very good boy, nuffsaid" stuff here, it became nearly impossible for me to portray myself in my personal profile...

Or rather... Do you guys think I can simply write whatever I want and make up stories here since I am the person editing this??! I knew it!!! You people just don't trust me enough... :(

Well, honestly, yes, anyone can be whoever they claim they are here in this cyberworld. All you have to do is to synchronize your fingers with your brain and voila!! You are who you want people to see you as!!

But since I am an honest person, I would not do such a thing... I would not take advantage of this cyberworld and declare anything baselessly here... I am, however, going to copy whatever my friends have written about me here... What?!!? I can fake that too?!? Okay, I am going to include the links to verify them, how is that? Ya, ya, I can still fake them all and most people, especially in this region, prefer to voice out the positive side of a person and disregard the bad side whenever possible... Yet, I guess it is best to leave them for you to judge... since they are meant for me and at least they are more reliable than myself... in judging myself... ;)

First stop, lets pay a visit to my Friendster page:

The following was written by one of my best friends in secondary school, Alex:

this is the muscle man of our gang.......the strongest guy ive met.....wif his big biceps and "lak teh Bak" abs.......he is intimidating.....you should not anger him or you r going to get it...actually he is not like that, he can be very tolerant...as i know he seldom talks........yah and also very humble.....sometimes will joke but his jokes are very lame.....haha......nola actually his jokes very funny....hey when want to arm wrestle hah??? waiting lei for so long......anyway nice to have met you in friendster.....after so long never met u....

See, I told you about my humbleness, didn't I?? LOL... Alex, I couldn't find time to write anything about you last time but in short, I want you to know that you are one great friend to have... I hope to keep everything as this way... And that includes winning you in arm-wrestling... :D Next would be the one written by one of my closest buddies, one whom I've known since primary school, Patrick:

oooo...this strong man...i knew him since std6,i still remember how i knew him...he ask bout spellings and i answered all his problems...hahaha :) later i met his cousin too..which stays just a lower lever than my unit.what a small world i can say.Well gals out there this guy is a very muscular guy...he's in USM.I think we went to a lot of vacation and places like...the first..std6 birdpark in butterworth,then later in f3 to mersing to watch the sun eclipse, pangkor, yet follow the school trip mto kl. Another trip is to Redang. Maybe Tioman is the next!! haha :)

Honestly, Patrick, I'd never have thought about the trip to bird park if it wasn't for you mentioning it. Anyhow, the above two verses are quite accurate, both of which you can see from here, I'd say, except for the 'lak teh bak' part which goes to imply that I have six packs because I actually had eight... Alex might have counted wrongly. If you've noticed I used had, I guess you pretty much know what I mean...:p Let's continue and see what Casey has to say:

Darren Kam Chuan Jian... correct me if I'm wrong ok? haha.. come to think about it, I've never been in the same class with you. Never ever. Same tuition class, yaya.. that started during Std 3. Knew you as a soft-spoken person, polite and humble. Guess what? You still possess these wonderful traits thoughout the years. A mathmatic genius, and super strong guy. Still remember when you did some knuckle crackings to me last time.. see who had more of that 'sound' LOL... never beat you. Honesly, I'm really glad that you found me in friendster. Wondering where's that tuition teacher is now, maybe we could go find her one day. hahaha... Anyway, good luck and make sure you excel in everything you do, including..... :P

Yours' Casey Khaw Poh Chung, right??! Pardon me if I'm wrong though... :) Thanks man!!! I felt really fortunate to have gone to that tuition class... Definitely not because of the teacher... It's the chance to get to know a person like you!!! Come on, tell me you're weeping right now... LOL... And then Patrick's pretty little sister, Jennifer:

Well wat can I say bout this "iNnoCent" looking guy who always smile?hehe...He is my brother's best friend,that's how i knew him la.He is cute and a real "GenIus" cos he is very very very smart.He is kind,funny and wat do u noe??He is a loyal and faithful to his ... u noe..hehehe He is very responsible too..always helps his mother in da shop..nowadays,very few guy could be a "buDaK baIk-BaiK" like him hor??Too bad...he already got girlfriend la.Anyway,I'm not here to write an essay so got to go..All da best to u and God bless u always~~!! =]

Yes, I must admit, it may be a little bit exaggerated sometimes, but it's interesting to know right? And in case you're not aware of it, Jenn's a very honest girl... :D Anyway, I will continue with what this talented girl, named Soo Yee, wrote for me:

hhm...this guy here is a real gentleman..he is really funny n fun to be with ler...when he's arnd u will jsut laugh...u will be happy...honestly he is really nice...alwiz there when u need him but ppk ppl a few times..hehehe...n he is muscular...his body rocks gurls...check it out man...hehehhe...he worked hard for it ler..hehe..anyhow... darren thanx for everything...n of cos i also wanna apologise if i've ever hurt u in any way at all...if u turn back time i wont do wat i do to u...but wat ever it is i'm glad to have known u...he's a good fren to share secrets with n tok to...use to tok to him a lot ler..hehehe...we used to play badminton...hang out...talk talk in the teluk bahang dam...hehe..i relaly miss those times n i miss this good fren of mine...will think of u from time to time...darren...hereby i wish u all the best things in life cos u really deserve it...u've been the best...thanx n till then...take care n till we meet again... ~muax~ ~peace out...~

Sigh, the reminiscences... They can bring smiles or tears... Although the ppk ppl (short for 'pang pui kee' people - word for word translated to 'let go aeroplane', directly translated as 'leave one's aeroplane', colloquially used to mean 'absence without notification' or more professionally known as 'no call, no show') part is somewhat mythical, she did quite alright in her description of me... :) Right? After that, I'd like to add what my younger brother, Ryan, commented on me:

Ah , u must be very suprised that im writing this..i guess =D . OKay..where do i start .. hmm, Darren Kam or better well refered as KOKO for me, hehe . Well, from da bottom of my heart i wana say thank you for being such a good brother to me =) cudnt ask for a better one..Been with me on my ups n downs..comforted me ..and being interested in what i like to do..that really helped me alot =D. Overall...ur caring , kind , friendly , loving , humourous , handsome and definetely WELL-build =0 ..always wanted a body like urs..although mine is slightly bigger..JK. This 1000 word limit is not enough for me to job down all the good characteristics thats on you. I cannot imagine my life without u around ..i wish i cud give u a big hug now and tell u how much u mean to me..=).Ah its now time for me to go to bed since i gota wake up early tomorrow =( . Lastly .. before i go .. i wana say a big T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U for being my big bro!! Take care and Goodbye ! Yours sincerely , -RYAN-

Ahh, isn't it nice to read something like this?!! Thank you for your thoughtfulness. You are no less important to me too, my talented brother... Do visit his aptly named The Noc Straits Times blog. Let's move on to another 'testimonial' written by Patrick to me:

Yo dawg...wassup??!!...DK been one of my closest friends' since we're in primary schooldays,in standard 6 to be exact...6K...he's good in maths...as i know...and also checkmates!yup starnge enuf that our interest is the same..from Astronomy to Z9....A-Z basically.Friendly guy...nice to chat with... Pros:don't smoke,knowledgeable,smart,cheerful,good looking Cons:GOSSIP

Can you please replace the all-capitalized word 'GOSSIP' with 'information-sharing'?? LOL... Anyway, all these can be viewed in my Friendster comment page number two. In the following page, two of such references were written, one by a very nice friend of mine, Kok Ming, which reads:

Darren... I think know him for 6 years and more liao... But only get those him close during form 6... That time got go out together in a big gang and hang out too... But the best part is after form 6, the genting trip lor... That time really have lots of fun! Then he always organise badminton every week... Or organise hiking... Really healthy lifestyle huh... hehehe... Sumore every year plan 1 big big holiday trip. 1st was Genting then Redang and now Perhentian. U the man! Sumore very good organiser... Last month oso plan a small trip to A Farmosa Resort! Then always go to Sea Wind to yum cha hor... kekeke... But everytime oso not much wind one. Really enjoyed in these outings. Darren also is very good guy la... Always fetch me one and never hestitate to do so... Thank you very much, my friend. Friends forever!!! Domo arigatou gozaimasu for those holiday plans and making them wonderful n unforgetable moments. I hope u can keep the spirit of organising going one. I will always support

Kok Ming, I never realized all that you've mentioned has now become merely part of our memory... I really miss the 'big group' thingy... Wanna go somewhere next year?!? Where?? 8) And now, the last, but never least, of them in Friendster, by an extremely sporting girl I've got to know in Form 6 called See Kee, written as such:

finally i find time to draft a few words 4 u,i was in da same chemistry class wif dk when i was in f6,only notice his presence when he came 2 my house 4 a small party,i dunno who brought him until now... haha!but dats ok, though i din even have a chance 2 talk 2 him in my house dat time..well,anyway i didn't really remember when i 1st chatted wif him... oh ya,i had never said this but i just like 2 thanked him 4 his helping hands when i got into deep trouble few yrs ago,i really appreciate 4his help out on dat crucial time&certainly really glad 4 ur great "explaination" 2 my dad 2 help me out of the hot soup... hahahaha! THANKS LOADS!!apart from dat,dk is a big guy wif a friendly smile..he is really friendly2 every1&break the ice easily,keep it up! keep it loud!:)and thanks 4 organizing those wonderful trips,it is really an enjoyable 1...(applause!!) hehe..enjoy life 2 da max!! smuacks!! (sc,dun get angry ok? just a friendly smuack nia... hahahahaa!!)

I didn't really remember who invited me there either... but those were the days - you do not have to know the person coming into your house when you have a party huh??! :) After all, I am glad I went... Well, I guess you can verify the last two of what I call 'genuine' comments here, and that's about it from Friendster...

Next, let me welcome you to my Couchsurfing page... Aha, unfortunately, you have got to be a member to be able to read and verify my claims here... So, do feel free to sign up for it if you're interested or sceptical about what is going to be pasted here... Furthermore, you may even enjoy culture-exchanging, hosting, or getting hosted if you are in this network!!

First, I have this piece written by my girlfriend, Green... It sounded like this...

he's the nicest and kindest guy i ever met. he likes to make friends and share jokes. he has the same dream as me - to tour around the world... meet new friends and learn other cultures.

The following is by a Belgian girl whom I have hosted... Saskia's her name...

because of darrens enthousiastic emails, i went back to penang. 4star accomodation. we went to see the butterfly garden and partied togerher, he really fits in the couchsurfing project!! host him or get hosted if you can!he is awesome

Another one written by a very lovely Belgian lady - Vicktorya. She was so kind to fetch us from Dadizele only to be our tour guide in Bruges...

However I ordered the sun for Darren and his girlfriend, my question was not answered. So we were driving first to the sea for a brief overview and afterwards we visited a lot of nice spots in Bruges. Darren is very polite, nice, easy going (so is his girlfriend ;)). We were sharing some knowledge. Enjoy your further travelling together. Never hesitate to host that nice couple!!! Hope to meet you again!!!

Jean-Pierre's yet another kind hearted Belgian... He's note is fairly short here... but he wrote more for me (or us rather) in Hospitality Club...

Very interesting people, from total other culture than us but open minded as we are too.

A fellow Penangite, Azlan has this to say:

Darren came to my sister's wedding party together with Saskia. Darren is a very friendly guy, cool and humble. Me and Darren are both from Penang and we cant escape from meeting each other coz Penang is not that big laa.. haha

We were hosted by Jef Theys in Olen... And this would be another verse from the Flemish Region of Belgium...

Darren and Shiau stayed here for two days ; they visited Brussels on their own and Antwerp with Fredrenaud ; so sorry I couldn't join you in these as I had to work
Darren en Shiau are so enthousiastic people, enjoying everything they see, tasting every aspect of local life, and so gratefull for the smallest. Too bad that you could only stay for two days, I'm counting you host you again some day.

Now let's proceed to The Netherlands... Larry wrote this about me (okay, us... happy now?? LOL)...

Darren and Shiau were great guests when they were over here in Rotterdam. It was a pleasure to get to know these people, and I adored the proper Malaysian food they cooked. Hope you enjoy the rest of your trip!

Then as we stopped by Germany, we had Evi hosted us and she thought that... (sorry, I am not sure what's wrong with her Couchsurfing profile but there was an error... I hyperlinked her Facebook instead)

Darren and his girlfriend stayed at my home in Thale for 2 days. I loved having them around: They were always smiling and kept asking many questions during their stay - lovely, young couple, ready to explore the world with their heavy backpacks ;) ... Wishing you heaps of fun in Europe, Evi and Family!

Hmm... I think this post would be exceptionally long if I were to continue doing this - pasting people's comments of me and a link so that you can verify them... There are at least another 30 more of such references of different lengths!! :) Anyway, I don't think there is anyone out there interested in knowing so much about me... Yet, I hope you have a rough idea of who I am now... I will continue with the rest when I have the time to... And, in addition to that, I am going to also post what I have written about my friends here... Stay tune... :)

Hello!!! and... ummm... welcome?!?

Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to present to you… D-Blog of DK!!! Please bear in mind that DK here doesn’t stand for Dorling Kindersley… neither is it Donna Karan nor Daniel Kirkwood… and surely not Denmark, Kobenhavn (Copenhagen). Nope, it is also not Daihatsu Kopen and never Donkey Kong for goodness sake… it stands for… well, it is a secret but I will let you know what it is if you would read until the end... For now, I can only tell you that it stands for something better than all of the above mentioned!!! Now, let me start with………. hmm.......... where should I… or rather how should I start??? Ok, I am gonna write about………. let me see………. I… I mean………. just… Well just allow me to think for a moment………. You… umm………. Actually, I will be writing………. I mean………. wait a minute………. Should I… I can just………. no, no, no………. Now someone tell me how to begin………. umm………. you see………. argh… I think………. Okay, I guess I shouldn’t waste your time… I am………. how to put it………. Wait, I got it………. nah… sorry, still processing………. Hey, don’t stop reading here yet………. I will start now… hmm………. just a second………. aaa… argh, it just slipped my mind………. ok… please continue………. lets start with a………. umm… hold on there… please don’t… Hey!!! Don’t leave yet………. Ok, ok, now for real………. just give me one minute… lets begin with a simple………. how to say………. umm… Okay, by now, you should be able to conclude that I cannot blog… but please give me a chance………. Hey!!! Where are you guys off to??? Come on………. I haven’t even started my first full sentence and you are actually leavi… Hey??? Hey!!! Hey, you there… you, yes, you………. Please don’t leave………. I beg you to read on… I am pretty sure something’s gonna come out… I am craving for attention… but… but, sad to say, you are the only one left now………. I started off with 1000 people and now… only you!!! How can I live with… Man, I got to do something before it is too late… I guess I could start like…

Well, since I am not used to keeping diaries… not a biography kind of person… not familiar with jottings… or recording my everyday life… not even sure of the tenses that should be used… and the form of sentences I can produce… you are absolutely right if you think that I will definitely not do well in blogs… I will not make this my diary since there is no point starting one now and let the others read your diary… However, I will share with you some of my experiences… nope, not like a diary… more like a biography… I will take my time, stupid or not, to answer any question posted to let you get to know me better… I will share knowledge gained, experience encountered, records broken, cars driven in, hotels stayed in, places been to… latest news… hot topics… and bla bla bla… Wow!!! Isn’t that a perfect blog??? Well, now lets see how to organise a blog………. hmm………. can someone tell me why I am having a strange feeling of deja vu now??? I think………. omg, I am starting this again………. umm… what if i press this………. oops, no, not this………. Or is it......... this!!! I quite am sure it's not 'sign out'......... but... Hey?!! Hey you, you are the only one left and you are leaving now??? Hey!!! hey………. Hello?!! I am not talking to myself, am I??? Well, I am… I guess it is too late for me to do something now… Okay… Bye bye to myself… Bye bye Darren… and if somehow………. against all odds, you are still hiding behind the wall to read my blog… ya, my name is Darren… and DK stands for Darren Kam… Isn’t that something better??? At least no one can argue with me now… no one is around!!! Plus, it is still a secret!!! ;)

Everybody's got it, I want it, now that I've got it, what should I do with it??

It’s hot, it’s 4 o’clock, it’s boring, but I’m not gonna rot, I’m sleepy but sleep? Maybe not, don’t wanna take a walk, start up a blog? Hmm… why not? Since I do dream a lot, and can write something of this sort, make you laugh till you drop? Might give it a shot, give you what I’ve got, you could give me some support, but make sure you comment if you disagree with my thoughts. Now welcome to D-Blog, nah, not D-Block in hip hop, just… D-BLOG!